Lower Chicken Heights: November 2005

Project Slim Jim

I was looking through my Halloween photos and realized that I had forgotten about these pix. I had just returned from my friend D's house the morning of November 1st. I was starving and forgot that I had no food in the house.

I looked down at my costume (I was "Brown Trash" for those of you who didn't see it.) and realized that I still had a Slim Jim Beef & "Cheese Product" snack in my front pocket. An idea then suddenly popped into my mind. A notion so horrendous that I should have just run the other way, but these were desperate times. I began to eye the Slim Jim. I was starving and didn't have any cash on hand.

True Halloween Havoc

Yes, I'll admit that after decades of resistance, on November 1, 2005, I finally broke down and decided to participate in an experiment that I'll simply refer to as "Project Slim Jim" for our purposes. Here are the before and after photos:

John snaps into a Slim Jim(tm)

The Slim Jim made its way down my throat and proceeded to beat the shit out of my stomach. You know, that crazy guy in the commercials really does jump around in your stomach. You may think that it's just an animation, but oh no, it's a true representation. It's not like you can even sue them for misleading advertising. I immediately realized that I had made a very grave mistake.

My body reacts to the Slim Jim

In case you are wondering... No, I will not be having another Slim Jim. Sorry Mr. Slim Jim. Don't be sad.

A Slim Jim in its natural environment.

Mmmmm.... Carrots.

I just started laughing when I saw this during my vacation:

A restroom stall poster from a club in San Diego.

Brilliant artwork... wouldn't you say?

Mooooo!

Brown Eyes

I was walking down the street today and realized that I'm getting tired of hearing Madonna's new single blaring from every convertible, trendy store, and homeless encampment. What if Madonna came out with a song that was nothing more than animal noises backed by a killer hook and a kick ass beat? I'm sure that it would be number one on the charts.

This reminds me of the Jurassic Park movie and the amber phenomenon. But duuuude.. What if it could really happen?

...excuse me while I go puke a little...

Why are we such sheep? Baaaaah.

tap, tap, tap... is this thing on?

Good hair night

What could possibly be better than a good hair night? I'm glad you asked. Answer: Being able to spend time with your favorite people. That's what... "and there's a boy who knows what's what... butter nut bread!"

Butternut Bread!"

Tonight I stopped outside the Badlands after enjoying a taco and some kickass aqua fresca. I was chatting with some peeps when lo and behold.. what do I hear? "JOHHNNNNN!". It was my good friend Bill yelling out the window. I couldn't resist. I had to run in get some of that sweet love. Apparently he checks my blog each day to see if there are updates. I felt a sudden wave of guilt as I realized that I haven't been adding much content as of late. Bill says he "checks to see if I quote him". You quote someone once and they are hooked. So, we made our way to the imfamous badlands dancefloor and ate up the Kelly Clarkson/Killers/Britney action. Bill is quite the lil dancer and seeing him is always tops.

The Badlands. File Photo (AP)

BTW: Bill's friends mentioned their desire to check out "The Edge". I had to relate my experience going to "The Edge" a few years ago (as a newbie). I was with a younger friend of mine. We walked in and the patrons began to cluck at us in unison. We made a figure eight and walked right back out.

For those of you who are visual learners:

This is what happens when you mix bears with chicken.

Good times. JD out.

Mini-vacation to San Diego! Nov 2nd-6th

Oh, did I mention that I spontaneously took a mini-vacation to San Diego? Yes, it was warm. Yes, it was beautiful. I desperately needed some alone time and thankfully my mind has finally reset. ALT-CNTL-DEL.